Krillin's Time Traveling Fun!
by Phantom imPALEr
Summary: Well, Bulma invents her time machine early, and Krillin gets a hold of it. Guess what? He still gets his ass kicked! My first fic, so please be nice to me!


**Krillin's Time Traveling Fun**

Based on Dragon Ball Z. I don't own DBZ, or any characters, or any references i use about other companies I mention. I just own the idea. And the hilarity.

It's been six months since the Cell games and Krillin still felt like he could have done something to help even though he didn't (though we all know he couldn't). He had been on the sidelines the whole time, wondering where he could get a 5$ foot long..er...umm...wondering how to beat Cell. He was actually panicked when the Cell Jr's had attacked, he didn't expect them to attack, he was preoccupied, thinking of his possible new girlfriend that happened to be an android...well a cyborg that was mostly human.

After he got his ass kic-I mean, after he beat the shit out of the Cell Jr. that was attacking him, Gohan came out of nowhere and annihilated them! He beat them all with one hit per, and there were six of them, I mean even Goku was having a hard time dealing with them!

After he regained consciousness-er returned from Subway he saw Gohan fighting Cell in an Epic Kamehameha, battle. When he started to lose he shat a bric-or thought he should intervene, then Goku as a spirit appeared and gave Gohan the strength to beat him. Cell was literally turned to dust after that.

Since then its been quite quiet around here, no one needed saving anymore, to make things worse Gohan started school and grabbed a superhero persona "Saiya Man" and kept all the fame to himself, (_cheap__, __greedy__, __bastard_), Krillin thought. The year before the Cell games he had trained himself to the point where he was stronger than Frieza...(_hmm __and __Cooler __now __that __he __thought __about __it__...__but __Brolly __was __still __WAYYY __stronger_). Hell if it wasn't for Trunks and his time machine they would have...time machine, hmmm...he could use that to his advantage. Now that he thought about it he was still pissed at Frieza for blowing him up on Namek...oh he would make this work.

"Hey Bulma!" Krillin said, walking into her study, (which looked more like a garage than a study).

Bulma looked at her short bald friend. Smiled and waved at him, and went back to wrenching at something in a rather large machine.

"Hey KrillIn how are you?" She asked.

Krillin looked at the machine already knowing what it actually was, because Bulma had told him and the Z-warriors, what she was building it beforehand.

"You finished up that time machine up yet?" His blue haired friend stood up straight and stretched her back. She looked at him with a large grin on her face.

"Eeyup, I just finished it up actually. All it needs now is testing." Her smile widened as she rubbed her newly built time machine, which looked like a blue phone booth, that said 'Police Box' on it.

It was rather big for a phone booth mind you, but not big enough to be a time machine. It couldn't have been.

"Um, Bulma your 'Time Machine' is a phone booth." Krillin pointed out to her.

Her smile widened, and she said enthusiastically,

"I know but you have to go on the inside it's WAY more than it seems. I'm totally serious!" Krillin looked skeptically at her, she groaned and pushed him into the booth.

"Good god...its, its," Krillin said, Bulma leaned in almost drooling with anticipation, "It's smaller on the outside!" He announced. Bulma fell flat on her face, all her hopes of hearing a famous phrase crushed.

'_Well __its __only __Krillin__, __I__'__ll __get __other __chances__._' She smiled at Krillin.

Krillin smiled as well but for a completely different reason.

"I'll be happy to test it out for you, if you want." He said walking out of the device and inspecting it. Bulma followed behind him, smiled at him, '_Just __like __Krillin __always __willing __to __help_.' She thought.

"Sure we can do it now if you want?" She said cleaning up her tools. Krillin turned to her. he didn't expect to leave this early, but hey why not.

"Don't worry about food I've got the thing stuffed with enough to keep Goku happy for months." Well there went his only fear.

"Sure I'm game. lets go!" he said going into the already open door. Bulma followed in after him.

"Allllllllrighty then, this is pretty simple, you just enter the date and place in which you want to go to, and then press the blue squiggly button then pull the red candy cane lever and press the muffin button then call Zed Humphrey and great googlie mooglie you're off...oh and I have it programed so that once you're done with your trip it will return to the moment and place of which you left." He looked at her then saw she wasn't kidding in the slightest.

"Umm o-okay then I'll remember that." He nodded to her and she exited the machine.

He did as she instructed and he heard a whirring noise and then it stopped,

"You have arrived at your chosen time." A voice told him. He looked around and saw nothing had changed within the machine so he went outside to see he was still on earth and was watching as Goku and Vegeta fought.

The thing was, it was their first fight. You know, the one where Vegeta was trying to destroy the earth, after collecting the dragon balls (_Yeah __that __one_)?

Krillin fell back into the Time machine, shocked and terrified, he realized he had time traveled. A smile crept onto his face as the thought sank into his mind. "Bulma you are a freaking genius!' He thought, happily.

He quickly went back into the Time machine and set in different time coordinates.

The whirring noise happened again then stopped,"You have arrived at your chosen time." The voice said again. He walked out to see Bulma waiting excitedly for him.

"So...did it work?" She asked him eagerly. "Because you disappeared from here for a moment then reappeared, the next. So is it safe to assume it works?" She rambled off to him. Krillin sweat dropped, and nodded to his blue haired, genius of a friend. She squealed and hugged him,

" Krillin I've done it! I've made a time machine!" She started dancing around doing what we call the 'Phoenix Flight', when Gohan walked in and asked,

"What's all the hub-bub, bub?" Bulma stopped doing the macarena and looked at the superhero, in disguise and cheered because she had a taller dance partner, and sang,

"I just made a Time machine, a time machine, i just made a time machine, it really works!~" She ballerina twirled over to him, him still being in his Superhero outfit, backed away, as though she had the plague.

" Umm, okay then Bulma, umm you okay?" Krillin then walked over to him and patted his back,

"She's gone now in her own world of dopamine, and probably taking a trip into LSD land pretty soon. But i just tested out her time machine and it actually works. It's scary, it's awesome, but it works." Krillin told his superhero friend. Gohan was getting all excited at the prospect of having a Time Machine, IN HIS OWN TIME!

"Oh no way this is soo cool!" He said shaking with excitement, it reminded krillin of that time HE took a trip into LSD land and met a Japanese Lady Gaga, sitting on a throne while two lions in pink bras danced to 'The Final CountDown' but that was beside the point when Bulma went over to gohan and whispered seriously into his ear, so Krillin couldn't hear her,

"I need you to Guard this tonight because I think that the 'One Eyed One Horn Flying Purple People Eater' will try to steal it from me." Gohan nodded knowing the seriousness of what she said to him. As the 'One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater' was a common enemy to them.

"Right I'd be more than happy to help you Bulma.,,,but umm, why can't Vegeta Help you instead of me? I mean isn't he your husband or something?" Bulma looked at him and said in a blank voice,

"The guy thinks that the creature does not exist and we're all messing with him, so he won't do it even for me. So no he can't."

LATER THAT NIGHT AT 10:30 P.M. AFTER KRILLIN WENT HOME.

Krillin was clad in a black rubber outfit that for some reason gave him a tail, but he moved silently through the building to where he knew the 'Time Machine' was hidden. He saw it, and grinned,

"Hello beautiful where have you been all my life?" he opened the door and peered inside and saw Gohan standing in front of him looking menacing. Well he would have looked menacing if not for the fact that he had half a fish hanging from his mouth and had that confused look on his face, and had a picture of Brad Pitt in the background. He smiled when he recognised his short friend.

"Krillin! I didn't know Bulma wanted you to protect the time machine as well! Come on in! We have plenty of food in here." Before Krillin could do anything Gohan had ushered him into the time machine, and had food in his hand.

"Uhh thanks Gohan, I'm not feeling hungry though." He pushed the food backing into the almost infinite 'fridge, and looked back at his friend.

"Thats not the reason i came here Gohan, I came to use the Time Machine." Krillin stated, in all seriousness. Gohan just nodded.

"Okay where are we going?" He asked. Krillin looked at him for a moment...and another...and another.

"Are you serious? Im about to steal a priceless piece of technology, and you coming with me?" He asked incredulously. Gohan simply nodded.

"Someone has to keep you out of trouble now, right?" He stated simply, like it was any other day.

Yamcha suddenly broke down a doorway, in the nude tape covering his mouth, with his hands and feet tied behind him, and was covered in bruises all over his body, particularly around his rear end. He looked at his friends and began struggling to make noise, to let them know he was in trouble, when a giant walking blue cat (_**Big **__**the **__**cat **__**from**__** '**__**Sonic **__**the **__**Hedgehog**__**'**_) walked in and grabbed his bound feet and started pulling him away.

"Come on Yamcha its time to play 'Froggy'." His deep congested voice said, as he pulled him back into the other room, Yamcha cried silently the whole while.

"Well okay then Gohan, thanks." Krillin said as he went to the control panel and entered the place and date he wanted to go to and pressed enter.

The whirring noise began again, then stopped.

"You have arrived at your chosen time." Krillin smiled and ran to the exit of the time machine, only to run smack into someone else,

"OW GOD DARN IT!" Krillin said as he fell on the ground and looked to see that he had run into a man who had exited a machine similar to his,

"Oh so sorry, didnt see you there." The man said, standing up and dusting himself off and offering a hand to Krillin. Krillin took the hand and stood up,

"Its okay it was my fau-" "Good god it that a TARDIS!" The man nearly screamed.

Krillin looked dimly at him, and said,

"No it's a Time Machine. It takes me anywhere I want it to take me, and anywhen, it's pretty cool in my own opinion." He stated proudly, The man scoffed,

"Oh i don't care about that. It's the fact that it looks exactly like my TARDIS!" He rushed into the machine and gasped instantly.

"It is just like my TARDIS! It's bigger on the inside and everything!" The man exclaimed. He turned to Krillin and grinned for a moment, then frowned,

"If this is my TARDIS, which I'm sure it is, then you are on of my regenerations are you not? But if that were the case then we shouldnt be able to be in the TARDIS at the same time which means you're a human or a metamorph which i doubt since they're not very intelligent. This is astounding! Humans have created a time machine, well i suppose it was only a matter of time considering how quickly you creatures adapt and expand,-" Krillin cut the rambling man off,

"What the hell are you talking about and who the hell are you?" he asked.

The man chuckled,

"Oh terribly sorry my name's the Doctor. May I ask yours?" The Doctor stated smiling.

"The 'Doctor'? Doctor who?" Krillin asked. "Oh and I'm Krillin, and this is Gohan." He said politely to the stranger. The Doctor looked at Gohan closely and said,

"Just the Doctor will do, my dear boy are by chance part Saiyan? You have the distinct characteristics of one, but they were said to be extinct at this time how are you even here...no wait you're only half saiyan, maybe half human as well, well aren't you a little enigma? Oh and you can evolve into something thats not an oozaru, huh? Can you turn into a Super Saiyan? You indeed can, can't you? But look at this you don't have your tail you must have lost it in the genetic code fusion...no wait it was taken off...repeatedly as well. And you're muscle density build it's stronger than what makes up my TARDIS, oh this is fabulous!" As the Doctor continued to examine Gohan, Krillin looked around where they ended up and saw that he was back at his first World Martial Arts Tournament, and then he saw the moon...and damn near pissed himsel-er I mean, got ready for battle.

He heard a roar, and saw, on the tournament the Oozaru, the ran to hide- ...got ready to rush the beast when he saw a blue beam of energy shoot up and destroy the moon. He then came out of hiding and remembered that he is at least forty or fifty thousand times stronger than that creature.

He slapped himself and groaned, he needed to stop being such a coward.

He went back over to _His_ Time Machine and grabbed Gohan from the Doctor, who was still analyzing him and set a new destination for the Machine. The whirring noise started when he faintly heard,

"It even makes the same whirring noise mine does!" when the noise stopped and he grinned evilly, Gohan looked nervously at Krillin,

"Uhh you okay Krillin?" He asked slowly. Krillin chuckled

" I will be oh yes I will be, right after I beat the hell out of Frieza. Muahahahahahahahahahaha!" Evil laugh here.

The whirring finally stopped and Krillin turned to Gohan,

"Okay Gohan I'm going to need you to, and follow me on this, make me look like hell. But don't hurt me too badly, okay?" Gohan nodded and started to BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF KRILLIN!

"OW god damn it, I said not to hurt me too badly!" Gohan stopped his beating and looked at a nearly mangled Krillin,

"Oh sorry about that Krillin I forgot how weak and useless you are." He stated , scratching the back of his head. Krillin stood up and looked at his _**time **__**travel **__**buddy**_and sighed,

"Well whatever it's not like you beat me to the point where i can't fight. (_Thank __Kami_)." Krillin got into his boxers and walked out of the time machine, him and his beat up body.

"I'll be back later, but don't do anything to break anything okay?" He left, and made his way to the area of his supposed death against Feiza.

He slipped in the water and waited until 'Feiza blew him up' and then wait until Goku went super saiyan and...and...(_Fuck I__can__'__t __hold __my __breath __any __longer__!_) Krillin began to swim to the top...why did he wait at the bottom of a 60 Ft deep lake? When he broke through the water surface Goku had already gone super.

"Huff...huff. JEEZ THAT HURT FRIEZA!" Krillin yelled at the top of his lungs, getting both Goku and Frieza attention and a particularly shocked look from the... the.. whatever Feiza is.

"What...how...How are you even alive? I blew you to hell...I-I saw you're body parts flying over the horizon!" Frieza said startled, at Krillin's sudden _**re**_appearance. Krillin smiled at the...whatever Frieza is, and said,

"Well i was holding my power back the whole time while I've been on this planet ,but now I think it's time I release my full power!" Krillin said confidently, Frieza scoffed,

"Like a lowly human like you could have enough power to-holy shit that is pretty powerful." Frieza said generally surprised at Krillin's power level. Goku too was surprised at the sudden increase in his friends increase in strength.

"Hey Goku can I handle this...ummm, uhh hey Frieza what are you anyway? I mean what is you're species name? I'm serious I mean what are hell are you?" Krillin asked the tyrant.

Peeved frieza answered,

"I am of a race called a Freezer. Now are you happy you insufferable, ignoramus!" Krillin looked at Frieza up and down, slowly at first then quicker, to the point where his head was moving up and down so fast it looked like he was vibrating, then stopped and asked,

"Sooo...what are you? A guy...or a...girl..." He asked slowly. Frieza looked bewildered, then got angry, but Krillin cut him off before he could speak. "I mean you're nude right? And you've given no indications that you are wearing any clothing, so we assume that you are nude, hence we think that, you have no peinis but you also have no vagina, so what are you and, how do you tell the difference?" Frieza looked so enraged at these questions that he looked like he might have blown a fuse, Goku on the other hand couldn't help but point and laugh at Frieza, saying '_it__'__s __true __it__'__s __true __HAHAHAHA__'_ Frieza roared at Krillin with soo much absolute rage, that he was seeing red.

"I'm a fucking male you idiot, haven't you listened to any of my subordinates! they all call me 'Lord Frieza' not "lady Frieza' you dolt. NO I'M JUST GOING TO KILL YOU!" frieza rushed krillin with rage that made Brolly look calm.

Frieza swung a powerful fist at Krillin, intending to end him in one blow, but Krillin simply blocked it. This surprised Frieza long enough so that Krillin could counter, punching him square in the face, knocking him back for a moment. Frieza sped towards our bald hero with lightning fast attacks, that Krillin either blocked dodged or parried, but when ever he through any attacks at him, Frieza did the same, so they fought on level grounds, never moving an inch from their original placement.

All the humor in the air had gone as Goku had stopped his laughter and was watching the fight intensely. Monitoring their attacks, strengths, and weaknesses. This lasted almost ten minutes until Frieza pulled away from the fight panting along with Krillin. But unlike Krillin Frieza started to smirk.

"What's so funny Frieza? Losing your mind to the thought that you've found a perfect equal in combat?" Krillin taunted the tyrant. Frieza simply chuckled at the midget.

"Oh no i was just imagining you're face when I go full strength and kill your bitch ass." Krillin looked at him for a moment...

"W-What?" Was his intelligent reply.

Frieza, suddenly went into a transformation that krillin had not before known of before. Before anything else could happen Frieza 'Bitch Slapped' Krillin through the only house left on Namek(_**Krillin **__**powned-**__**count**__**: 9000-9001**_(_**Hey **__**Vegeta **__**what **__**does **__**the **__**scouter **__**say **__**about **__**his **__**losing **__**streek**__**?**__It__'__s __over __nine __thousand__.) )_. The power Krillin felt made him literally wet himself. As he climbed out of the rubble of the house he prepared for combat against this new unknown form of Frieza's. Frieza rushed Krillin with a savage knee into the stomach, punch to the face, and a repeated combo on the bald one. krillin tried his best to fight back against this new form that made frieza a juggernaut, but was failing horribly, for every one blow he blocked, six would strike him. He stated to think while he fought against Feriza, (_Why __can__'__t __it __**EVER **__be __easy __on __me__?_) He wondered as he played a losing game of cricke-I mean fought a losing battle against Frieza. Krillin pulled away from the fight and held his arms up in an _**'**__**X**__**'**_ fashion and said,

"No thats it, I give up. I just can't ever win can I? Goku you can fight him now. I'm going home. Bye." Before anything else could happen Krillin was gone.

He landed at the TARDI-Time Machine and walked in to see that gohan had nearly cleaned out the 'fridge and walked over to the control panel and set it to go home.

The whirring noise started again and then stopped _"__You __have __arrived __at __you__'__re __chosen __time__"_ The voice said.

"Yeah yeah i know stupid bitch." Krillin mumbled to himself.

"_Oi __don__'__t __you __talk __to __me __like __that __you __stuck __up __prick__! __I __just __took __you __through __time__ 4 __different __times __don__'__t __you __get __pissie a__t __me __you __stupid __bald __cunt__" _The voice yelled at Krillin. He simply sighed and thought, (_Of __course __the __time __machine __has __a __personality__. __**And **__can __understand __me __to __the __fullest __of __my __language__.)_ Eh walked out of the time machine to see the 'One Eyed One Horned, Flying Purple People Eater, at the entrance of the machine, but before he could scream Gohan had gone Super Saiyan 2 and annihilated the creature in one massive Kamehameha. Krillin sighed again at his total uselessness.

He had almost exited the room when Yamcha broke the door down again and crawled like a worm out of the room. When the big blue cat came and started to look for him he couldn't see Yamcha. Instead he saw Krillin looking at him with exasperation, the cat smiled a big creepy, lecherous smile grabbed some rope and approached Krillin who was backing away from him, before he could escape however, the cat wrestled him into the binds and removed his clothing.

"Hi Krillin lets go play 'Froggy'" The cat said to Krillin..

Krillin hasn't been seen since then, and that was four months ago.

**Well ****ladies ****and ****gentlemen ****that ****was ****Krillin****'****s ****Time ****Traveling ****Fun****. ****I ****hope ****you ****enjoyed ****it****.**


End file.
